When grief touches our lives, it's an overwhelming and bewildering experience. Thoughts and feelings can surge and recede like unpredictable waves, and the pain can be vicious. Grief reshapes our world in unique ways, and it's something we all go through at some point in our lives.
As I have navigated my own journey through grief, I discovered an online resource called "What's Your Grief" by Litsa Williams that helped me. One article in particular, "64 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Grief," deeply resonated with me; I found myself returning to it and the comments repeatedly. It inspired me to curate this list, incorporating insights from that list, conversations with others, and my personal experiences.
This list is a compilation of 100 things about grieving that often go unspoken, presented in a condensed and organized format. Grief is a complex, multi-faceted experience, and I hope this list can help shed light on some aspects of it that you might not have heard before.Â
Understanding Grief đ
- Grief is natural, with no right or wrong way to grieve.
- Grief is personal; what works for one may not work for another.
- No preparation can fully ready you for the impact of loss.
- Death may defies our plans and wishes.
- Confront your feelings as soon as you can - avoidance prolongs suffering.
- Death isn't like movies -Â it's raw and gritty, lasting as long as it lasts.
- Hospital deaths aren't always bad; home deaths aren't always good.
- Do not rush grieving - move at your own pace.
- Death feels like an emergency - make time for sayinig goodbye.
- Different kinds of love are valid.
- Write letters to your loved one.
- Grief reaffirms the reality of death.
- Grief is a normal, healthy response.
- There are many resources for coping with grief, but you have to use them!
Dealing with Others đ¤ˇââď¸Â - Death and grief create uncomfortable dynamics.
- Funerals happen in a fog - hold memorials after the fog.
- Accept support and help - don't isolate.
- People's kind gestures will not always be helpful.
- Hurtful comments may be unintentional -Â let them go.
- Misconceptions about your grief are common.
- Death exposes family dynamics - good and bad.
The Complexity of Grief đź - Closure isn't universal; your journey is yours.
- Grieving has no set timeline.
- Regrets are part of grieving.
- Guilt and anger are normal in grief.
- The pain of lost love brings out unexpected reflections.
- Grief can challenge faith and beliefs.
- Honoring your loved one's memory enough can seem daunting.
- Grief doesn't adhere to stages - it is messy.
- Grief may make you question life and purpose.
- Everyone grieves differently - expect stress and strain.
- The pain will likely exceed your expectations.
- Comfort can come from unexpected sources.
- Caregiving drains - self-care is vital.
- Last moments replay in your mind.
- Children need to process their grief.
- Seek new ways to grieve - whatever helps (not hurts)
- Not everyone will be nice or understand.
Complex Emotions đŞď¸ - Grief will highlight missed possibilities, past, and future.
- Big life events may feel bittersweet.
- Grief triggers lurk everywhere.
- Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.
- Grief can feel absolutely maddening.
- Holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays hurt.
- Grief affects both the body and heart.
- Ignore those who try and dictate your feelings.
- There is no 'normal' in grief.
- Express, process, and heal your way.
- Grief may alter your personal identity and values.
- Numbness often precedes feelingsÂ
- Feelings can come in waves.
- Selfishness and entitlement may surface - on your end, or from others.
- Telling stories about your lost loved one can help.
- Thank-you notes after funerals can be brutal.
- People often judge your grieving.
- Comparing griefs comes from many people, but isn't helpful.
- All losses are valid. Do not let others tell you otherwise.
- Good days don't mean you're over grief.
- Loneliness is persistent - seek support.
- Grief might spur unwise actions in the moment - forgive yourself.
- Grief can make you stronger.
- Seeking counseling isn't weakness.
- It's okay to cry, or not.
- Unexpected support will come from unexpected places.
- "You don't get over it, you just get used to it."
- Politely tell unhelpful people "thank you, but no thank you"
- Watch your alcohol intake- it will make the situation worse.
- You'll confront your feelings eventually.
- Self-expression isn't limited to talking.
- Time doesn't heal all wounds.
- You'll never completely return to your 'old self.'
- Grief can unite us.
- Grief isn't your sole definitionof loss.
- Grief shines a light on life's preciousness.
Grieving Difficult Relationships đ  - Grieving those who've deeply hurt you may take longer.
- The loss can open old wounds.
- The brain is wired to be biased toward the negative - reflect on positives.
- Regret can be more intense and confusing.
- Anger, hurt, or other negative feelings is okay- even when they are gone.
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Relief is a normal reaction.
Emotional Rollercoaster đ˘ - Tears are gut-wrenching.
- Grief prompts endless questions.
- Happiness may feel unreachable.
- Unanswerable questions haunt.
- You may drift from family or friends - forge new relationships.
- Some see lost loved ones as perfect and this can cause pain.
- Anger at death is normal and valid.
- Forgetfulness and brain fog are common.
- Unexpected memories can occur at anytime.
- Crying varies in catharsis.
- All losses warrant grief - not just death.
- Grief defies all timelines.
- Every death is sudden.
- Live life and savor it.
- Grief is a rollercoaster of emotions.
- You are still you.
- Hopes and dreams are still important to have.
- Grief reminds us of life's fragility.
- Healing offers hope.
- Grief can be surprising when it helps us feel grateful.
Grief is a universal experience, and we need each other to share and heal.
Whether you're feeling alone or overwhelmed by grief, know that reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you ever find yourself in crisis and need to talk to someone immediately, please call 988 for support. You matter and you are not alone on this journey. đ
In solidarity,
Chief Moji Muser and EmojiIRLâ˘Â Creator
#emojiexpression #emojiIRL #getyourmojion #youmatter
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Additional reading:
- The Healing Power of Grief Journaling (post)
- Navigating Grief During the Holidays (tips)
- Navigating Grief - Raw Journey of Healing (personal story)
- What's Your Grief (website)
- 64 Things I Wish Some Had Told Me About Grief (article)
