Today's Emoji-A-Day post about Golden Retrievers and The Day the Music Died struck a chord deep within me, bringing back memories of my beloved dog, Eliot. 🐶
Eliot, My Unsung Golden
While not a Golden Retriever himself, Eliot's spirit shone just as bright. Rescued at the last dark hour at a kill shelter, he soon became my loyal companion and was just over 12 incredible years. This little guy was nto your typical playful pup, but his quiet little old man devotion followed me everywhere, a furry shadow of absolute, unwavering love. 💛
Brutal Loss
Losing him in April 2015 was a vicious and painful blow. No matter what, it was going to hurt. But amidst a string of losses over 10 weeks, it felt especially heavy. And while I longed for a peaceful goodbye, it was anything but. Witnessing his final moments, the pain was felt crushing and unexpectedly overwhelming. 🪦
Flashlight in the Darkness
Shortly thereafter, I saw Pitch Perfect 2. The song "Flashlight" near the end of the movie floored me. The lyrics resonated deeply, and for weeks, my world was silent with pain, except for the haunting melody of Jessie J's song playing over and over in my head or somewhere around me. It became my own silent tribute to Eliot, my guiding light that had gone out.🔦
Facing the Shadows
Coping was a continous struggle. Nightmares, flashbacks, and buried memories flooded back, leading to a PTSD diagnosis that began near the end of 2015 and was finalized in 2016. It was a wake-up call, forcing me to confront the pain I'd buried for so long. The brutality of the awakening memories and toxic environments led to a further diagnosis of CPTSD soon after, a stark reminder of the complexities of my journey. 👣
Finding Healing Through Art
Music, art therapy, and journaling became my tools for healing. Slowly, I learned to feel, to process, and to heal. By no means was this a quick journey. But I never, ever ever gave up. And finally, this journey led me to Moji Pop Art, where I found a creative outlet and a way to express myself, finally bringing all the pieces together. ️👩🎨
Golden Melodies, New Layers
"Goldie's Last Day," a favorite for 30 years, was once too painful to listen, after Eliot. But as I was researching songs for Golden Retriever Day, I found I could think of Eliot, my little black and tan King Cavalier terrier mix, alongside Golden Retrievers. And instead of pain, it was golden memories, sweet joy, and it added new layers and joy to the song. It deepened it for me. In fact, it was what helped me choose the concept for the Emoji-A-Day post. 🎶
Eliot may be gone, but his memory lives on, a golden thread woven into the mosaic of my life. His legacy lives on forever now in my heart. ❤️
Other Unexpected Treasures
Discovering Dolly's "Cracker Jack" (50 years old, yet brand new to me!) reminded me of music's timelessness. It truly is an experience! ✨ And then there was Annie's "Dumb Dog" and "Tomorrow" (check out the Spotify playlist for the extras not in the post!), taking me back to days of Sandy the dog and Orphan Annie's adventures - so many memories! 🐕
Looking Forward with Gratitude
I don't know when another dog will be in my future, but I know it will be someday. When Emry and I are ready. In the meantime, I deepful grateful for everyday that I am able to express myself freely, without the deep suffering of grief and trauma, and that I know how to cope on bad days. It makes it so much easier to get back to enjoying golden memories faster! And for that, I am deeply, immeasureably thankful. 🙏
If you'd like to see some of my Moji art and read my "tribute" to Eliot, you can visit my Instagram post, which was less than a year ago and the first time I'd even been able to talk about Eliot since his death in April 2015.
Yours in Healing and Golden Memories,
Chief Moji Muser and EmojiIRL™ Creator
#emojiexpression #emojiIRL #getyourmojion #yourmatter #writeyourownstory
☮️🖖❤️😊
